A lot of women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how to behave? "- these questions have been heard more and more often lately. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunken alcoholism, if not dealt with, is generally capable of turning life into eternal torture. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is a disease, and not a personal choice of a particular person. A sick person undoubtedly needs the support of loved ones, especially when he cannot cope with the problem on his own. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at such moments the question often arises: what to do when the husband has gone into a binge? There are few ways out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can say with confidence that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she herself can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Difficult decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to relieve herself of responsibility for the future fate of a man. But in this case, you should adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the persuasion or pleading, it is important to know that the promises of an alcoholic cannot be trusted. He will do anything to convince his wife: burst into tears, give gifts, fall on his knees. If this does not work, he may well resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his lead, because believing this once, you can provoke the repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last for more than one week, and even more than one month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is unambiguous: you need to make a firm decision, clearly convey this to your husband, not trust promises and not give in to pity. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be doubly worse.
If the choice is made in the direction of fighting and helping the closest person, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband began to drink, and then go deeper into the solution of this problem. Today, there are many ways to wean a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave correctly. If the spouse has begun to drink more often and periodically goes into binge drinking, you can try to change tactics. After all, he is sure that, having come home, he will run into another scandal with tears and smashing dishes. Or maybe he will be greeted by deathly silence and icy contempt? In any case, you need to try to change: to become more affectionate, to surround him with attention and care, to try to open up to him other joys of life, in addition to drinking alcohol. Often this behavior confuses men and then it is much easier to deal with them. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unjustified aggression and save your nerves.
Secondly, you need to try to protect the faithful from his drinking friends. Indeed, most often a man drinks vodka for the company, or out of loneliness. When drinking binge, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, her hope and support, and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus his attention on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with a drinking father;
- to captivate him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependency
It may be that a woman is unable to leave her alcoholic husband. There may be many reasons for this, but nevertheless she needs to figure out how to live on.
There is such a thing as codependency, when a woman, willy-nilly, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to get him out of the hole and return him to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional attachment to her significant other. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which one can judge the presence of codependency:
- the woman takes responsibility for the health, mood and well-being of her husband;
- tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, by and large to solve problems for him;
- justifies the inappropriate behavior of the spouse in front of others;
- feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- closes his eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not done is for the better;
- falls into the same dependence on alcohol, not having the strength to resist;
- considers himself a victim paying for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do for a wife when a husband goes into binges
There are many reasons why men go on a long binge. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in a person, which he may not have a desire to overcome. Weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for hard drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is of a long-term nature, then a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all sorts of excuses, such as: "Yes, I'm an alcoholic, and I like it! "or "I don't drink for no reason. "The drinker never admits that he is prone to addiction, it seems to him that he is able to quit drinking whenever he wants. But in fact, everything ends with another binge, after which the assurances of oneself and everyone around in their firmness of character begin again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to treat unequivocally. But what a wife should definitely not do is worth figuring out. Not worth it:
- look for excuses for his hard drinking;
- hide the problem, dressing him up with a needle, trying to show that he is not what he is;
- to justify the husband in front of colleagues or bosses for the fact that he does not work or is systematically late;
- drink with your spouse so that he gets less;
- give drink at home, so long as he does not drink on the street;
- to wash and clean up after him the consequences of his alcoholic intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual relations;
- threaten with divorce;
- treat her husband secretly from him.
There are different ways that can help get a person out of their binge state:
- medication solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
Light binge
With such an initial stage of alcohol dependence, you can try to get by with folk methods of getting rid of the binge. It is also good that the treatment can be carried out at home. The very first thing to do is to let the patient sleep and then keep to bed rest. Drinking plenty of fluids is recommended to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not worth resorting to the help of medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise you can cause unforeseen complications.
Heavy drinking
When the binge lasts more than three days, you will most likely need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called at home. He will correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe medications that need to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most often, to relieve withdrawal symptoms, the doctor at home puts an IV drip, which helps cleanse the blood of alcoholic toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also often contains restorative ingredients and sedatives. The fact is that a drinking person very often becomes aggressive, panics or experiences unexplained fears.
In order to calm him down and restore the nervous system after a binge, the doctor may advise classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic drugs.
Heavy binge
Usually a heavy binge lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control, or the drinking person has a history of chronic diseases, in this case, only hospitalization of the patient in a narcological or toxicological clinic can help. Treatment in a hospital will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of a heavy binge, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a state, the patient is unable to control himself and can commit aggressive actions aimed at any member of the family, being in a deranged state. Of course, it is advisable not to bring it to this, but if suddenly the withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You need to go to a narcological hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious harm to your health, up to and including death.
conclusions
When a husband is an alcoholic - this is a terrible grief for people close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the sick person himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: keep your family or your own health. Rarely is a woman able to put an end to a once happy family life, especially if there are children who still love dad. All that remains for her is to pull her loved one out of this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do this alone, and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, one cannot do without psychological help and support. The advice of an experienced specialist will tell you how to behave correctly and what to do in order to get your husband out of the binge and return him to a normal life. It remains only to stock up on great patience and in no case despair, because despair can lead to rash actions, which you can then sincerely regret.